Kiss of Death
by Nom Tasty
Summary: Harry Potter died. For real, this time. Now he finds out he is Master of Death through a ridiculous loophole, and now must go to another universe to be able to die. Now stuck in a life he didn't want, with Death himself trying to court him, Harry has decided that he is just destined to be special. Harry/Death, includes many gods, OC galore! SLASH!


**Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter.**

**Hello, yet again, fellow fanfiction readers! I have decided to write another story ermahgerd. This is my first Harry Potter only story, so…**

**Anyway, this idea came to me when I was browsing the over half a million Harry Potter fanfics (yes, that number is correct) searching for the gem under the crap. Turns out that there was a room full, all beautiful and amazing. Anyway, side tracked. I noticed that the ones I quite enjoyed more so than others were the sort of cliché (because with so many stories, everything is cliché now) 'Harry goes to another dimension where he has family LOL!'. So, I decided to do one (Huzzah!).**

**So enjoy!**

**~Nom Nom :3**

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**Summary: Harry Potter died. For real, this time. Now he finds out he is Master of Death through a ridiculous loophole, and now must go to another universe to be able to die. Now stuck in a life he didn't want, with Death himself trying to court him, Harry has decided that he is just destined to be special. Harry/Death**

**Warnings: All canon except no Harry/Ginny; Extreme Pervert Death; Very bad Language Death; Possible sexual scenes (Death again); Gods…**

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**Kiss of Death**

**Chapter 1: Harry Meets his Number 1 Fan**

Harry never thought he would die the way he did. He was Harry Potter, The-Boy-Who's-Name-Must-Be-Hyphenated for Merlin's sake! He had survived the killing curse twice, with nothing more than a small lightning bolt scar on his forehead! He had singlehandedly lead the war against one of the Darkest Lords in the history of the planet and came out on top! He was trained in both muggle and magical ways to defend himself, and could list one hundred ways to end someone's life in an instant! Yet, it shamed him to say it, he was killed by car. A drunk driver to be exact.

But, here he was. Dead. In a place… well he actually _didn't _know where he was. Whenever he died the second – or was it third? – and final time he had expected to go back to the white Kings Cross station, meet all his dead loved ones in a big family reunion, finally meet his parents and grandparents and celebrate etcetera etcetera. Yet, that didn't happen. No reunion.

He was in a waiting room, a typical hospital waiting room with grey walls, grey floor and grey chairs. A fog covered the floor and ceiling so that Harry couldn't see if there was anything solid there. There were three other people in the room: an old woman asleep in her hand, a middle-aged man with half his face missing, and a woman with grey skin, black hair and black eyes behind a desk that said 'reception'.

Harry felt incredibly uncomfortable because he was naked. The old woman and the man with a missing face were too, but they didn't move from their seats, just staring blankly in their directions. So Harry just sat there, trying to cover himself from no one for about twenty minutes until he heard a voice.

"Harry Potter can you… Harry Potter!?"

He sighed. Apparently, even death will not rid him of his fame. With some reluctance, he stood up and walked over the invisible floor, all the time covering himself from the woman's eyes. Standing in front of the desk, he tried not to shy away from that _look_, the look he was oh so familiar with when he walked down Diagon Alley. The reverence in her eyes, the shock on her face… the only thing missing was the glance up to his forehead.

"Harry Potter…" She whispered, the awe in her voice obvious.

"Yeah, that's me." He sighed.

"I've met Harry Potter. I'm talking to Harry Potter." She laughed excitedly. "The girls will love this!"

He had heard that before.

"Can I get your autograph?"

He had heard that one too.

"I didn't think the Master of Death would be so _hot_!"

_That_ one was new.

"Ah, and here I am gushing to you! Death wants to see you personally." She winked, making Harry think that this meeting will be anything but innocent. "Just go in through the left until you reach the office with his name on." She gestured to her right, towards a pair of doors that he was sure were _not _there before.

"Can… can I have some clothes?" He asked her without moving from his spot.

She gave him the _look_, not the 'oh-my-god-you're-famous-love-me' look, but that look only women can do when they're right.

"Honey, I think Death would like you better like this. If you know what I mean." She winked and slapped his butt before pushing him through the doors she mentioned earlier. "Good luck sweetie." Then the doors were closed, and Harry was alone and naked in a corridor.

Unfortunately, this wasn't the weirdest thing that had happened to him. It was close though.

Slowly making his way down the corridor, he looked at the names on the doors. God, Kami, Fate, Justice, Shiva, Quartion, Niah… He recognised some from various religions, but others were completely new. What was a Ddhag?

When he finally found the door that said Death, he was contemplating on just walking past (but that would cause a problem in itself) but decided against it. He didn't know what Death wanted but it couldn't be bad, right?

He knocked on the door quietly before a loud "Enter." was heard, and he opened it and entered an office. The office was relatively normal, CEO office complete with a dark blue carpeted floor and white painted ceiling. Closing the white door, he turned and faced the man behind the large ornate wooden desk, in front of large glass windows that overlooked a city. There were two plush leather seats in front of the desk, a waste basket on the left and a tall potted plant in the corner, but otherwise the office was bare.

The man was tall, easily a head over his small frame, with broad shoulders and muscle on his body. His hair was sandy blond and his skin was tanned. He wore a formal suit, but the tie was untied and the first few buttons of his white shirt were open. Suddenly Harry felt very self-conscious about his lack of clothing, and tried his best to discretely cover himself before throwing it all out the window and doing it just so that he was covered.

Death carried on working – looking though paper and writing on some – for about five minutes before Harry was fed up and loudly cleared his throat. Death glanced up for a minute, turned back to his paper before doing a double-take. Harry felt extremely self-conscious under those sky-blue eyes.

"Harry?" He asked, somewhat confused. "You're dead _again_?"

Harry couldn't help it. He snorted. "It's not like I could help it. I was bound to die eventually."

Death nodded, before brightening up. "So did you kill yourself? Please say you did!"

To be honest, that was the last thing that Harry expected to be asked. "What!? No! A car ran me over!"

"Ah, so you threw yourself into the traffic."

"What!? No!"

Death ignored him and wrote something down on a piece of paper, which vanished. "You're now officially the Master of Death. Congratulations!"

"Wait, what does me needing to kill myself have anything to do with being Master of Death?" Harry asked. "I collected all the Hallows!"

Death waved his hand as if the fact wasn't important. "If the Master of Death only needed to get all three Hallows, there would've been about 182 Masters of Death by now."

"Is it because I have Peverell blood?"

"Lowers the number to 16."

"Then why just me?"

Here Death smiled. "Because you died three times, each representing the myths of the Hallows. As a baby you died your first Death by someone wishing to kill you to become powerful – the first brother and the Elder Wand. Next, you went into the forest and visited Voldemort, and greeted your second Death as an old friend – the third brother and the Invisibility Cloak. Finally, your third Death you killed yourself to visit your loved ones – the second brother and the Resurrection Stone." He held up three fingers. "Three Hallows, three Stories, three Deaths, three Circumstances. Each one you fulfilled."

"But I didn't kill myself to see my loved ones. I was murdered." Harry pointed out.

Death just waved his hand again. "Minor detail."

"A pretty big detail."

"It's fine, it doesn't matter now."

"It kinda does."

Death ignored him. "So congratulations! You're now Master of Death! Now we need to work out a system for the reaping of souls, but we can wait until after the honeymoon-"

"_Honeymoon!?"_

Death gave Harry an odd look. "Yes, honeymoon. As in the thing after a marriage."

"I'm aware what follows a marriage."

He cocked his head. "Then what's the problem?"

Harry gave him an 'are-you-even' look. "What honeymoon? What marriage?"

Death smiled. "Ours, of course."

Harry twitched and seriously contemplated throwing himself through the glass windows. "Why me?" He groaned.

"Because you're the Master of Death."

"That's not the answer to everything!" Harry shouted.

"Actually it is." Said a voice behind him. Harry spun around to see, quite possibly, the most attractive person he had ever met. She was in his late twenties, tall like Death with black hair and red eyes. Her smile was seductive, and she wore a long black evening dress and showed off her bare shoulders.

"Aphrodite." Death sighed. "Can you stop?"

The woman – Aphrodite – pouted. "Fine." She sighed, before clicking her fingers and covering in grey smoke. When it cleared, the woman was in sweat pants with her hair in a ponytail and all the makeup she wore was wiped off. She now had glasses with black frames and a pen hooked on her left ear. Harry blinked. The woman was still beautiful, but now she looked more normal. And that made her look more beautiful.

"So you're Harry, huh?" She smiled, showing her teeth. "I'm Aphrodite, but just call me Rhode."

"Rhode?" Harry asked bemused, shaking her hand.

"Well I like to change my name every now and then. " She shrugged. "Rhode is just such a cute nickname anyway." She looked down. "Hmm… I think you need some clothes." She clicked her fingers and harry felt clothes appear on his body. It was just a pair of jeans and a shirt, but it was so much better.

"Hey!" Death complained. "I was enjoying the view."

"Is that why you kept him naked?" Rhode asked.

Harry twitched. Death left him naked so he could _look_ at him? Trust him to be stuck to marry the only deity that was a pervert.

Actually, he still needed to sort that out.

"So why exactly does me being the 'Master of Death' mean I have to marry _him_?" Harry demanded.

Here Death looked expectantly at Rhode, who smiled sheepishly. "Well, you see, it's my fault."

Harry just looked at her. "I kind of guessed that, with you being the goddess of love and all."

Rhode laughed. "Heavens no! For just one god being in charge of such a large domain? They'd go mad in a week! No, I'm the goddess of 'Love Meetings'." At Harry's blank face she elaborated. "Love is very difficult to work with, and very difficult to contain or control. The best we can do is put limits on it, conditions on which someone can fall in love with another person."

"So it's not predestined?"

"Nah, if you've fulfilled the conditions for both parts, any two people can fall happily in love. Some people have more than others, and some couples can be happy if not all conditions are met." Rhode explained.

"Do you mean anyone can fall in love with anyone?" Harry asked, slightly amazed. He had always thought that there was some sort of plan, but apparently it was all chance.

"Yep." Rhode smiled. "But here's where we get into why it's relevant. You see, during creation I needed to set conditions for all the other gods. But because there's so many of us, I usually just had to work off their name. When I got to Death-" She gestured to said man. "-I assumed-"

"Incorrectly." Death said.

"-assumed _incorrectly_ that because he's, well, _Death_, that he wouldn't want love, so I tried to be kind and not let him have any distractions and so put his conditions as the impossible. And after Uni's and Tinia's disastrous marriage, Frigg declared that any marriage between gods must fulfil all the conditions…"

Death sighed, the sound deep and completely _broken_. "All I want is for someone that is mine…"

Harry suddenly felt extremely guilty. He was the only possible chance for Death to find love. He knew what it was to live without love for 10 years, but to go for so much longer…

"…I'll do it."

Death's eyes shot to Harry, and Rhode squealed. "What?" Death asked, almost as if he didn't want to believe his ears.

"I'll do it." Harry shrugged. "I mean, why not?"

"Oh this is great!" Death smiled. "We'll have a grand wedding, invite everyone and-"

"You're getting ahead of yourself Death." Rhode sighed. "Even though Harry fulfils your conditions, you know nothing about his, and neither of you are in love with the other. Frigg just won't allow it."

Death deflated. "Your right… and because we can't marry yet, Harry can't stay here."

"Huh?" Harry asked.

"Old laws." Rhode waved off. "Ignore them. Anyway, I _do_ have a solution."

Death looked at her suspiciously. "…this is way too coincidental to be a coincidence."

"What_ever _do you mean?" Rhode smiled sweetly. "I have _no_ idea what you mean."

Even Harry could tell that it was a lie.

"Anyway, you need a place to fall in love with each other, so how about Earth?"

"But I died." Harry pointed out. "I may be new here, but even I can figure out that my whole 'coming back from the dead' thing wasn't supposed to happen."

"True, true, but I never said _your_ Earth. What about another Earth?"

Death snorted. "Only Cardea has the power to cross dimensions, and she hates everyone."

"Everyone _but_ the person who introduced her to Janus." Rhode smirked.

Death looked impressed. "That was you?"

"One of my finest pieces of work." Rhode said smugly. "Don't worry, I'll just go get her." She smiled before vanishing into a cloud of smoke.

There way a few moments of awkward silence between the two (well, in Harry's opinion anyway) before Harry spoke.

"So is your name actually Death?" Harry asked.

Death looked up. "What do you mean?"

"Well, isn't it a title, or are you _actually_ named that?"

"Yes, I'm actually called Death." He said, sounding amused.

"It doesn't fit." Harry decided. "You don't have the cloak and scythe and not a skeleton."

Death hummed. "Hmm. Don't you think I look better like this?"

Harry fought the urge to roll his eyes. "Yes you look better, but not intimidating."

Death smirked before standing up and walking around the desk. Harry raised an eyebrow until Death roughly grabbed him and pinned him against the wall.

"You want me to be intimidating?" He whispered into Harry's ear, making him freeze. "I can be intimidating." Death grabbed Harry's head and forced him to look into his eyes. "Just wait until we're alone when I will claim _every inch_ of you. I will pound you so hard you won't be able to think, never mind breath." He leaned in to Harry's ear, and Harry could feel his breath on it. "And you will love it."

Abruptly, Death let go of him and walked back to his desk, leaving Harry slowly sliding down the wall with a bright red face. As soon as Death sat down, Rhode appeared with another followed by another girl. He recognised her, she was-

"Luna?!" Harry shouted in shock, looking at the girl he knew as Luna Lovegood standing next to Rhode. Said blonde girl turned to Harry with a big smile.

"Harry!" She said. "Did the nargles get you?" She whispered loudly, helping him get up. His legs were shaky but he managed.

"What? No!" He blustered. "But why are you here? Don't say you died too!"

"Ah, no. I'm Cardea. I'm the goddess in charge of sorting out the dimensions and all that."

Harry blinked. Luna was a _god_?

"Ah, Harry, Cardea here needs to have a foothold in every dimension. Otherwise she wouldn't be able to access any of them." Rhode supplied, and suddenly all the strange things that Luna did made sense. Talk to people who were not there, talk about imaginary creatures, to just _know_ things…

"Anyway, I've explained the situation to Cardea and she's willing to help."

"Anything for Harry." Luna confirmed. Rhode raised an eyebrow but didn't say anything further about it.

"So what's going to happen?" Death asked Luna.

"Currently, there are three alternate Earth's you can enter safely." Luna said.

Death waited a moment before speaking. "Wait, are you not going to give us any information about them?"

Luna just smiled. "Knowledge is a dangerous thing."

"So no." Death muttered. "I hate it when we do that…"

"Luna…" Harry piped up. "Or would you prefer Cardea?"

"You can call me Luna, Harry." She smiled.

"Luna." Harry repeated. "You know me. You choose the world that I would be the best in."

Luna hummed for a bit before nodding. "World 3 it is." She clicked her fingers, making a purple portal rise up from the floor. "Death, you go first. Rhode, you follow and Harry will be the last."

"Rhode?"

"I decided to come too." Rhode winked at Harry. "Someone needs to make sure _he-_" She nudged towards Death. "-doesn't overstep his boundaries."

"Great…" Death muttered, but Harry had the distinct impression that he was happy. It actually appeared that the two gods were rather close. Death entered the portal with a glance back at Harry, Rhode followed but Harry himself was stopped by Luna.

"Harry." She said, grasping onto his forearm. "There's things you must know about this world." Harry nodded and gestured for her to go on. "This world is different – _very_ different – to yours. Just remember people who could be trusted in your would doesn't mean they can in this one, and the truth goes the other way too. The Harry of this world has passed, but they will only think that you were unconscious. I cannot show you what has happened in the world, but mostly it is recent history that is changed, the divergence only from about 50 years pervious. And there is one thing you must _must_ remember." Here she grabbed his shoulders and looked into his eyes. "Death and Aphrodite are gods. They will fear no one, do whatever they want. _And they aren't the only gods there_."

Here her eyes began to tear up. "Could… could you also be my friend, the Luna of that world's friend again?"

Harry smiled. "Of course."

Luna closed her eyes and breathed out heavily. "Good luck. You'll need it." With that she pushed Harry through the door.

Harry thought there would've been some transition, but as soon as he passed the door, he felt himself on a soft bed with his eyes shut. He gasped a breath, and he could hear a woman's teary voice, sounding so happy. She sounded familiar.

"Harian, my baby!" She cried. Ah, so it was his mother. He opened his eyes, expected to meet Lily Potter, the woman who died for him, the woman who gave him his bright green eyes, the woman who was the source of so many problems, but he didn't. He saw someone he least expected, and quite honestly, didn't want to see.

Bellatrix.

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**And thus, I present the first chapter of Kiss of Death!**

**Please review your opinions, and thanks for reading!**

**~Nom Nom :3**

**X-X-X**

**Gods:**

**Yes, there are gods in my story. Lots. Cardea, Janus, Uni, Tinia, Aphrodite, Death, God, Kami, Fate, Justice and Shiva are all a god from a religion somewhere on Earth. Quartion, Niah and Ddhag are things I made up on the spot (if they are real, I apologize in advance!) because… Well I could.**


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